Memory and desire, stirring…whirling my emotions into a frenzy creating

a free fall of chaotic proportions.  With the tides of change in time I have changed,

no longer that which I used to be or that you would expect of me to be.  In grief I sit,

mourning a loss I lost myself.  Our time is past and knowing this only makes

the process ties the knots inside that much tighter.  Its nothing new but that I knew

I had to start this journey of walking parallel to you versus beside you.  I have to live

without you and just be me, easier said than done.  Painting the picture that I am

okay to let the passerby’s know that I’m alright with this path is harder than you’ll

ever know in my experience anyway.  My brush is tired and I am weary of maintaining

this facade for another day.  I am not alright and time will be the only judge of that but

I hold to the hope that what is meant to be includes you with me.  Hope is all I have

when memories and startling desire invade my mind.