We have but a second before the rest of the world intrudes,
the mind told me. Vacancy signs will soon be erected in place
of total surrender but don’t be fooled, all is not safe. We have
so much to lose in a nation of sheep, free thought and will is
at war again amongst the natives. Focus on the facts, keep
your emotions in check and use me, the mind proffered me.
All that is shiny is not always good and all that is given is
not free. Don’t lose yourself amongst the herd, watch out
for the wolves and strive to keep watch over those with little
inclination to protect themselves. Once the world has reached
us, all is certain to implode.
Memory and desire, stirring…whirling my emotions into a frenzy creating
a free fall of chaotic proportions. With the tides of change in time I have changed,
no longer that which I used to be or that you would expect of me to be. In grief I sit,
mourning a loss I lost myself. Our time is past and knowing this only makes
the process ties the knots inside that much tighter. Its nothing new but that I knew
I had to start this journey of walking parallel to you versus beside you. I have to live
without you and just be me, easier said than done. Painting the picture that I am
okay to let the passerby’s know that I’m alright with this path is harder than you’ll
ever know in my experience anyway. My brush is tired and I am weary of maintaining
this facade for another day. I am not alright and time will be the only judge of that but
I hold to the hope that what is meant to be includes you with me. Hope is all I have
when memories and startling desire invade my mind.